By: Kwara Gong
Opportunism—The conscious policy and practice of taking selfish advantage of circumstances, with little regard for principles, or with what the consequences are for others.
Opportunist—A seeker of opportunity. A person who maximizes his/her benefit in every action he/she takes.
Happenings around me in recent time compelled this piece. I watched with disdain the antics of some opportunists who see me as a weak vessel they can easily work over. Not knowing my watch is about their ephemera euphoria.
Opportunists don’t see people, they see opportunities. This is a problem because in order for the opportunist to see you as an opportunity they must first dehumanize you in some manner to justify their practical sociopathic use of a human being as a device for achieving their own self-aggrandizing goal(s).
This is why it becomes easy for the opportunist to so easily dispose of a person who has “served their useful purpose” or worse leave a dagger of betrayal in the back of one for whom they can no longer use as an opportunity for leverage, elevation, collateral or chattel.
The opportunist does not love, they possess and once an opportunist does a “favor” for you, you will forever be in their debt and they will “milk” and/or siphon every bit of that favor from you, practically to the point of inequity because their time and their agenda is more important to them than treating people with mutual respect. These people are often very charismatic and use their charisma to manipulate and misuse other people as they do not see people but they reduce people to nothing more than opportunities to meet their own personal needs, serve their personal agenda or achieve a personal goal. This why the once “loving ” soul can now look you in the face with absolute disdain and total disregard for your plight because you were a “device”, a “stepping-stone”; something to be used and discarded when you’ve been used up for the accomplishment of their goal. These people would want you to serve them alone while it last, or condemn you for whoever might need your service in competition with them.
I have often said this of brown-nosers, behind-kissers, etc. Because these people don’t know how to effectively love, honor, and respect people so they dehumanize and use people to get what they want or even need. These people only see other people as “a means to an end” and they will never love or respect you until and unless they allow God to heal them so that they can receive His love; reverential, obedient fear and honor Him so that they can love, respect and honor other people.
The go as far as begging their way for you to be used as their tool. They are the best at divide and rule system. They are slander expertise. They hype you in your presence and mock you behind your back. They always feel they are the best in all they do. They take the highest of your advantage and capitalise on it, especially when you take your service to them. However, they do not take cognizance of the fact that, posterity has a way of paying back.
8 Kinds Of Opportunists And How To Spot Them:
Don’t get me wrong. Not every opportunist is a user. We have all used our personal arsenal of human resources to advance our own cause, and at different seasons in our lives, our roles will fluctuate between being really needy and super generous. That’s perfectly acceptable. Giving and receiving is the hallmark of relationships. I’m not referring to these kind of reciprocal, mutually edifying exchanges. I’m talking about those people who are ONLY good at using you.
Users come in many shapes and sizes, but the one commonality they share is their unrelenting willingness to “try it.”
Here are 8 kinds of opportunists, and how to spot them.
1. The Strategizer
The strategizer doesn’t come with the request on the first call. They’re much smarter than that. They have strategized their plan and calculated the equation in advance. It may take several weeks before they finally get around to asking you for what they want, but once they get it, you won’t see them until the next time they have a need.
2. The Entitled One
The entitled one is an unapologetic narcissist. You should feel privileged to have the opportunity to cater to their every need. You must show up to their events, support their ventures and drop everything when they call. Don’t expect any reciprocation though. That’s not how this works.
3. The Bully
His plan is to intimidate you into compliance. The bully is the most dangerous. He uses his clout to control everyone around him. Dare to deny his irrational request and he’s spreading rumors, disparaging your name and fabricating entire narratives about you. He usually gets away with the muckery because the timid wouldn’t want to be on his bad side.
4. The Sneak
The sneak is a spin master who drops subliminal hints and plays on your sympathies to get what he wants.
5. The Scammer
The scammer is an amalgamation of all the users. This one is in it for the long game and will study your personality, observe your patterns and root out your vulnerabilities to use them against you again and again…and again.
6. The Benevolent One
The benevolent one doesn’t need anything from you, he is here to present you with an opportunity. That’s right! He’s here to help YOU. Just do A, B, C and D, and you stand to gain E–Z. Except, it never really works out that way. They walk away with the entire alphabet while you’re left with zilch!
7. The Informant
The informant LIVES for the tea. They may look like a friend, they may even offer a supportive shoulder to lean on, but don’t be fooled. They are here solely for information. Keep your efforts and your favors, the informant could care less about those things. They often ask questions about your background/profile, just to get at you at instance of misunderstanding. This gossip thrives on being in the know. Their entire social status depends on it.
8. The Tragic One
The tragic one is a special case because their useration may or may not even be intentional.We all go through rough patches, and sometimes those tragic periods last longer than others. In those particularly needy moments, it may be necessary to lean on others for more support than usual. However, this individual lives in a perpetual state of emergency, always fighting fires and needing to be bailed out. As tempting as it may be to come to their rescue, their situational requests for support are signs of a much bigger issue, one that you’re incapable of resolving.
Everyone has encountered at least one character in this manipulative crew, but the question is: How many of these traits do you see in yourself? Be honest with yourself. No judgement. We are all just out here learning and growing, and doing our best.
The first step to keep your karma free of these serial users is not to be one. When it comes to relationships, try to maintain an open mind, use discernment and should you start to notice these disturbing patterns, don’t hesitate to dial it back. Even if you get burnt from time to time, don’t let it get you down. Malicious intent always bares the consequence upon itself.
Kwara Gong is just an opinion moulder and a public affair analyst who mean no harm to anyone. This piece is like a sermon for us to check ourselves, particularly if we are privileged to lead.
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